The Break-Up Diet

I Can’t Believe He Broke Up with Me…

I’m not sure there is anything worse than the loss of a great love.

The sun is setting…your arms are wrapped around the waist of your Prince Charming…you both gallop together on the back of a white horse toward happily-ever-after… Then WHAM! You get flipped off the back and end up on your ass in the dirt with a bruised spirit and and a broken fingernail. And yes, it sucks to get dumped.

But the true judge of a guy’s character is to look at HOW he breaks up with you. I got dumped over the phone. Okay…so maybe he’s not the confrontational type, but waking me up in the morning to break up with me over the phone from the place where he works—when we LIVED together! I’d say that’s a bit more than non-confrontational.

I suppose it could be worse… He could’ve text paged me, or sent me an email, or shoved a letter up the ass of a carrier pigeon…

I guess the result would be the same. I’d still be left sitting in the middle of my bed, surrounded by snow drifts of tear-soaked Kleenex, eating a jar of hot fudge topping for breakfast.

That’s how it all starts on page one of my memoir, “The Break-Up Diet.” Stay tuned for the rest of the story…

And I’m curious, tell me, dear readers, what tops YOUR list of the worst way you’ve ever been dumped?