How to Get Your Ex Back After He Dumps You

January 12 at 6:44 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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all-tied-upThe fact is—a relationship break-up is an ugly thing. No girl likes losing a guy she loves so deeply, cares for so profoundly, and obsesses about so frequently. Frankly, it sucks. But now, there is something you can do to get your ex back.

You’ll need a few handy items you may or may not have around the house: a roll of duct tape, 20 ft. of sturdy rope, a Polaroid camera, and a busty, under-age decoy for bait and then for blackmail purposes.

Oh, wait… Sorry. Wrong plan. That’s how to get a raise from your boss.

You wanted to know how to get your ex back… Well, there are a ton of websites on the internet that all claim to have tried-and-true tips guaranteed to get him back. My research has uncovered The Top 5:

1. Give him space to work out his feelings. He may not be completely ready to make a long-term commitment to you.
2. Be positive and cool about the break up. Tell him you understand and respect his decision.
3. Give him emotional support by letting him know you love him, think of him often, and will be there for him.
4. If you still live together, do nice things for him: clean the house, wash a load of his laundry, make him a sandwich.
5. Never try to make him jealous. He needs to know he’s the only one for you.

Ok, I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth. How much you wanna bet a guy wrote those sage bits of advice? Well, I have a better Top 5 List:

1. The Break-Up Diet has already made you skinny, now get into amazing shape—work out for your health and the endorphins, so you feel good. For YOU.
2. Feel however you want to feel and act accordingly. Kick up your feet and relax on the couch in your pjs, or go out with your friends and dance like everyone is watching you enjoy your freedom.
3. Flip your DGAF switch. You no longer have to deal with the expectations of a self-absorbed man-child.
4. If you still live together, his domestic needs are his to handle. You don’t owe him shit.
5. Start dating a smarter/kinder/richer/more muscular/more attractive guy. You deserve to find someone better for you than he was.

Live well. Laugh often. Dance with abandon. Embrace change. Welcome the future. Value yourself. Pursue your dreams. Love your life.

THAT is how you GET BACK AT your ex after he dumps you. Be the woman who is too good for him.

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