The Break-Up Diet

There’s No Place Like Home…

Kevin dumped me a week before Halloween.

Did I mention that Halloween is my favorite holiday? I mean, how can you go wrong with a holiday that revolves around dressing up in cute clothes and eating chocolate?

That Halloween I didn’t dress up. I spent the evening sitting on the carpet in flannel pjs watching The Wizard of Oz with my two dogs while my tweenage son pillaged the neighborhood with a plastic machine gun and a plaid pillowcase. I ate 17 mini Snickers and wished a house would fall on me.

In hindsight, I should have clicked my heels together and proclaimed, “Next!” Then donned a naughty nurse outfit. (Doesn’t every woman have one of those?) And I should have gone to a fabulous costume party with my friends. I should have found a handsome vampire and made out with him in the coat closet—just because I could.

But I didn’t.