WWJD? = What Would Jung Do?

November 6, 2007 at 10:56 pm | Posted in The Break-Up Diet: A Memoir | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

benandjerrys_choctherapy_fAn appointment with a hypnotherapist = 1 hour of your life that you’ll never get back.

Paying a professional to listen to you rant about your ex-boyfriend = $150 an hour.

Eating 1 pint of ice cream + watching Ryan Gosling in The Notebook = Priceless.

Ok, yes, I tried the therapist route—once. It came complete with soothing flute music, scented candles, an overstuffed recliner, and guided meditation. It was the eco-friendly version of a break-up exorcism. And I think I would’ve fared better if I would’ve stayed home and borrowed Linda Blair’s cross.

Now, I’m not knocking the Twinkie defense psychobabble and the proliferation of “mood stabilizers” that are being dispensed like Prozac Pez from a neighborhood ice cream truck. I guess they have their place. And I only tried therapy-lite which doesn’t require a prescription. But I’m just saying…it didn’t work for me.

Consuming vast amounts of Smucker’s Hot Fudge topping directly out of the jar, and then lying face down, crying into the carpet until I was completely feathered with Antron fuzz was more my style.

And who’s to judge anyway? We do what works for us to come out the other side—happy and healthy, right?

###
Advertisements

There’s No Place Like Home…

November 1, 2007 at 1:40 am | Posted in The Break-Up Diet: A Memoir | 10 Comments
Tags: , , , , ,

wizard-of-oz-dorothy-and-totoKevin dumped me a week before Halloween.

Did I mention that Halloween is my favorite holiday? I mean, how can you go wrong with a holiday that revolves around dressing up in cute clothes and eating chocolate?

That Halloween I didn’t dress up. I spent the evening sitting on the carpet in flannel pjs watching The Wizard of Oz with my two dogs while my tweenage son pillaged the neighborhood with a plastic machine gun and a plaid pillowcase. I ate 17 mini Snickers and wished a house would fall on me.

In hindsight, I should have clicked my heels together and proclaimed, “Next!” Then donned a naughty nurse outfit. (Doesn’t every woman have one of those?) And I should have gone to a fabulous costume party with my friends. I should have found a handsome vampire and made out with him in the coat closet—just because I could.

But I didn’t.

###

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.