In Time, The Memories Will Fade

March 11, 2013 at 8:43 am | Posted in Break-Up Advice | 3 Comments
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IN TIMEOne of the most difficult things about surviving a relationship break-up is dealing with the lingering memories. When you’ve given so much of your heart and soul in a relationship and it ends, getting over it isn’t easy.

It’s going to take time to rebuild your life and picture your future without the man you thought you’d share it with. At least that’s what I keep reminding myself.

Moving on would be so much easier if there were a way to forget everything: the look in his eyes when watched me from across the room, the sound of his voice when he said my name, the feel of his heartbeat against my cheek, the taste of his lips, and every moment we spent together in a world where no one else existed.

There was a movie I saw once, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, where the couple chose to do exactly that: forget. They decided to erase the memories of each other. It’s really a brilliant concept. Too bad there isn’t a real-life option to do it. I’d sign on the dotted line in a heartbeat. Yes, the procedure would completely wipe out all of the good memories, erasing 10 years of life and love, but if the memories were gone, the crippling pain of a broken heart would be gone too.

It brings up the question: Is it better to have loved and lost? Or never to have loved at all?

What would you choose?

After the Break-Up: What Do You Do with The Stuff?

April 18, 2010 at 5:59 pm | Posted in Break-Up Advice | 3 Comments
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Whether you were in the relationship for 10 years or 10 days, you still must decide what to do with the gifts and mementos from your time together. By removing relationship mementos from your living space and places where you see them daily, it will allow you to get over the break-up sooner and move on with your life.

Gather It
Grab a box and start your sweep. Go from room to room. Collect pictures, jewelry, clothing, and souvenirs from trips—anything that reminds you of your ex. Don’t forget to gather items you may have at work, and in your car or garage.

Sort It
Divide the practical from the sentimental items. A practical item, like a happy anniversary toaster, is still useful. Decide if it’s something you can have around and use for what it is and not have it trigger an emotional response. If you have strong emotional feelings about an object, you’re better off getting rid of it.

You have several options to consider:

Store It
If you’re the kind of person who has a memory box of items from high school, you may want to box up the special objects from your relationship and store them for a time when you can take a trip down memory lane and not burst into tears or fits of rage.

Donate It
If you can’t stand the thought of having anything around that reminds you of your past relationship, consider donating items to a shelter, service organization, or church. Someone else will be happy to have them.

Sell It
Have a yard sale. Take it to a pawn shop. Offer it on Ebay or Craigslist. Take it to a consignment store. With the money you make from selling your old relationship mementos, go somewhere or buy something that makes you happy.

Trash It
You may have the overwhelming urge to smash, burn, shred, or break every object that reminds you of your ex. And that’s ok. If you think taking the path of total destruction will make you feel better. Do it.

No matter which option you choose, getting rid of your past relationship mementos will bring you one step closer to starting your new life.

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