The Break-Up Made Me Do ItOctober 4, 2008 at 8:12 pm | Posted in Excuses, Excuses | 6 Comments
Tags: Annette Fix, hard economic times, relationship break-up, shoplifting, The Break-Up Diet: A Memoir, the twinkie defense
Now, I’ll be the first one to admit that a relationship break-up can make you do crazy things. Like…considering renting a house down the street from where your ex works so you can coincidentally run into him at a stoplight or happen to jog by his new apartment (even though you’ve never jogged a day in your life). Like…sitting up at 3 a.m. Googling him to find where he moved next. (Smart move. I can’t jog all the way to South Carolina from Cali.) And then there’s…um…I dunno, maybe writing a book about your break-up.
There are many levels of break-up crazy. But I must say, I have to give gold star props for the most random act of break-up madness to the woman who shoplifted and blamed it on her relationship break-up. Of course, the irony that her name is also Annette did not escape me.
I get that the end of a relationship can cause financial trouble for some women. Hard economic times. Wall Street crash and burn. Blah blah blah. Maybe she’s hungry and can’t afford to restock her Pop-Tarts and Hot Pockets without using the five-finger discount. But seriously, who steals flip flops and blames it on a relationship break-up? I can just see her standing in front of the judge: “I’m sorry, your honor, I’m so heartbroken that I thought stealing some cute summer sandals would make me feel better.”
Ya know, she may be on to something… I saw a cute bag, necklace, and bracelet at Brighton that really need to come home with me. So, if the excuse that “the break-up made me do it” doesn’t work for me, I guess I could say I ate too many Twinkies…