The Break-Up Made Me Do It

October 4 at 8:12 pm | Posted in Excuses, Excuses | 6 Comments
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Now, I’ll be the first one to admit that a relationship break-up can make you do crazy things. Like…considering renting a house down the street from where your ex works so you can coincidentally run into him at a stoplight or happen to jog by his new apartment (even though you’ve never jogged a day in your life). Like…sitting up at 3 a.m. Googling him to find where he moved next. (Smart move. I can’t jog all the way to South Carolina from Cali.) And then there’s…um…I dunno, maybe writing a book about your break-up.

There are many levels of break-up crazy. But I must say, I have to give gold star props for the most random act of break-up madness to the woman who shoplifted and blamed it on her relationship break-up. Of course, the irony that her name is also Annette did not escape me.

I get that the end of a relationship can cause financial trouble for some women. Hard economic times. Wall Street crash and burn. Blah blah blah. Maybe she’s hungry and can’t afford to restock her Pop-Tarts and Hot Pockets without using the five-finger discount. But seriously, who steals flip flops and blames it on a relationship break-up? I can just see her standing in front of the judge: “I’m sorry, your honor, I’m so heartbroken that I thought stealing some cute summer sandals would make me feel better.”

Ya know, she may be on to something… I saw a cute bag, necklace, and bracelet at Brighton that really need to come home with me. So, if the excuse that “the break-up made me do it” doesn’t work for me, I guess I could say I ate too many Twinkies…



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  1. Breaking up is a hard thing for anyone, especially if it’s a relationship that lasted more than 2 years. Overcoming an ex is easier said than done but getting back with your ex is actually easier than it sounds. For more information on how to get back with your ex visit:

  2. […] post series about stupid things people do and then blame on a relationship break-up. I thought the shoplifting story was bad enough, we now have to add arson to the […]

  3. I think it’s just their way to get attention, because they need someone to talk to about their heart break, but they just keep it all inside and when it burst then you know what happened next, that’s why it’s so important to find someone to talk to about your break up and just it out.

  4. While there are many signs of a doomed relationship, it doesn’t mean the relationship is over or even has to end. All these signs have reverse buttons if you make a change. And even if one partner makes a change, it can be significant enough to improve the relationship overall. So keep that in mind.

    • I’m from the “it’s called a break-up because it’s broken” camp. If he (or she) dumps you and moves away—it’s over. You can’t (and shouldn’t) be put it in *reverse* if one party doesn’t want to be in the relationship. Trying to salvage the relationship at that point is Desperation with a capital D. And stalking is a deal breaker. So is immortalizing the break-up in print. Keep that in mind. 😉

  5. Speaking from experience, I think it’s the adrenaline rush. After a break-up, your brain levels of dopamine are low. Stealing something would cause a surge of adrenaline in your body, increasing your dopamine levels and making you feel less suicidal.

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